Stuck In A Rut

I woke up today feeling tired, lousy, unmotivated and well, a little bit sad.

I’ve been feeling like this for a while, and this is the first I’ve actually admitted it. I’ve felt like this since May and well to be honest I’m stuck in a rut, literally.

My weight has gone up and down since May, and some weeks I’ve stuffed my face and most weeks it never showed on the scales (minus a no weight gain or a 0.5lb weight gain.) That was until about three weeks ago. That’s when I had my biggest weight gain, *3lb* now I know 3lb doesn’t sound much, but to me it triggered a little signal in my head saying “you have to do something now, otherwise this will just be the start of piling the weight back on.” I panicked, I went to my local supermarket after the meeting and I stocked up on fruit (grapes, apples, watermelon) vegetables (I hate vegetables but I had to try so I bought things that I thought I might like; baby corn, asparagus, soup mix (the Zero Point kind)) some meat (steak, gammon), low fat crisp’s (Kings Velvet Crunch) and some low fat treats and snacks (Sugar free Jelly, low pointed biscuits etc.) And that week, after weeks of not trying, I got back on track, I tracked everything I ate, even if I did go over the points, I still wrote it down, I didn’t exercise (in fact since I began Weight Watchers in February, I’m yet to get into an exercise plan, something I am not proud of) and I made myself meals, I made up the soup mix and well generally just *tried.*

That week when I weighted in (Wednesday morning) I lost *6.5lb!!* I couldn’t believe it, however it’s not the first time I’ve lost that much in one week, but still *YAY Helen* (I wanted a medal J) So I had a great meeting, I left feeling happy, proud and well motivated, for the first time in ages.

Then Friday came, I woke up and immediately had to go the bathroom, in fact I spend about 2-3 days living in the bathroom, I had caught a stomach bug, had no appetite for days and well, when I did eat, I couldn’t go to the bathroom. Come weigh in day I had only lost 0.5lb, to be honest I didn’t mind too much because not eating wasn’t healthy and I wouldn’t have like to see another big weight loss.

That was last week, this week I’ve wanted comfort food, I am officially backed in my rut and I’ve been thinking about my thoughts and feelings towards the Weight Watchers programme.

It’s a great programme; in fact it’s taught me a lot about nutrients, the benefits of exercise and maintaining weight loss. However if your heads not in the game, you I can’t expect Weight Watchers to work, Weight Watchers provides me with the support, the knowledge and the tools to succeed, but I cannot succeed without the motivation or more importantly the will power.
I’ve been thinking a lot today, about my feelings and why I feel like this and I know (well its common sense, but that’s something I lack) that it is MY fault, only I can actually do something about it. For the last few weeks I’ve been asking my boyfriend to encourage me, but there’s only so much he can do and say to help me, and while weight loss does not have to a lonely journey, it is a very personal one.